Dysfunctional Courts in CA

It has been approximately 3 1/2 years now and still counting, numerous court dates, mediations, letters to attorneys, meetings with accountants trying for resolution in a 25+ year marriage.  I begin writing about this in the hopes that another person going through these same struggles knows they are not alone.  I wish I had started this in the beginning stages when you still feel bright and strong that everything will get resolved in a peaceful manner and life will go on.  I was fortunate/unfortunate to have three adult children at the time of separation, not having to deal with child custody issues.  I say this as that is another struggle I deal with but that is a story for another time.  Today I write about yesterdays court meeting.  I will not get into the details of my marriage but only say how frustrated I am with the court systems and their lack of resolution in so many cases whether it is divorce, child custody, you name it.  There is a back log in the system that needs to be fixed.  While we spend our hard earned money on attorneys trying to resolve our cases; the courts put you on the back burner because they are overloaded with cases.  Why is this? Are there more people getting divorced? Well yes statistically there are. From my experience, the judge I was assigned to my case has never truly gotten involved in reading the fine details of my case and therefore could not help guide us or make any decisions on behalf of either party. The answers to our questions is always referred to “go to mediation” and see if you can resolve the issues.  So as I address this today and having been to court yesterday; my assigned judge is now gone, retired.  I have had other judges sit in for him over the last year and NO ONE knows my case the way they should to make decisions so I can move on with my life.  Talk about frustrating. I have mediated and somewhat can see there is a light to the tunnel but there are many issues needing resolution still and if I had a judge that was up to date on the case; well I think I would be done with this phase in my life.

So I am a woman, a mom, a friend, a sister who is a survivor of divorce.  In this trying time in my life I have re- gained respect for myself, pulled up courage to have a voice again, am stronger for my decision to leave and will and am happy.

If you feel the need to reach out, If I can help to support you in what you are going through please do so.  I am not the only one going through a sticky divorce and I think many woman sometimes don’t have the courage to take the first step.  With prayer, loving family and friends who support my journey I can do anything I set my mind too. You can too!!

Love and light,

J on the seen

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